dari angan-angan tercipta mimpi... dari mimpi mula mengorak usaha..dengan izinNya,usaha membuahkan jaya... .

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Teknik Nabi : Menggunakan perkataan yang tepat dalam pernyataan penegasan dan doa

Salam,

berkongsi drp FB: Ustazah Khadijah (catatan peribadi beliau)

Mendorong Orang Yang Lebih Berusia Dengan Teknik Nabi|

Tempohari ketika singgah di R&R, saya dan bonda pergi menunaikan solat Jamak Ta'khir di surau. Sebaik selesai solat, bonda melipat sejadah yang telah digunakan. Sambil melipat sejadah, bonda meluahkan ketidakpuasan hatinya terhadap sejadah-sejadah yang telah digunakan oleh orang lain namun tidak dilipat dan diletakkan semula di tempatnya.

Kata bonda, "Apalah salahnya sudah guna lipat elok-elok dan letak semula. Bukan susah pun. Ini tinggal sahaja bersepah-sepah."

Saya tahu, tingkah bonda itu adalah amalan lazim yang sering dilakukan oleh ramai orang dan bertentangan dengan Teknik Nabi. Namun saya senyum sahaja mendengar bonda terus mengomel. Di kepala, hanya terfikir mahu aplikasi Teknik Nabi menegur dan mendorong bonda.

Saya tidak menegur bonda dengan berkata, "Bonda, tak usahlah membebel. Sekiranya bonda mahu lipat sejadah bonda, lipat sahaja. Tak perlu bonda bisingkan sejadah yang telah digunakan oleh orang lain." (Salah)

Saya juga tidak kritik bonda dengan berkata, "Bonda ini, lipat sejadah macam tak ikhlas. Kalau bonda ikhlas, bonda tak sibuk sebut-sebut sejadah orang lain." (Salah)

Saya tidak juga menasihati bonda dengan berkata, "Bonda, kalau kita buat kerja haruslah ikhlas. Barulah dapat pahala." (Salah)

Sebaliknya saya mengaplikasi Teknik Menegur Dengan Menerangkan. Saya berkata, "Bonda, Allah mahu beri kita peluang membuat pahala dengan membantu lipat sejadah yang bersepah ini. Melipat sejadah yang lain-lain ini akan membolehkan kita mendapat pahala. Allah tentu suka apabila orang lain berasa senang dan selesa melihat sejadah yang tersusun kemas." (Betul)

Sebaik mendengar kata saya, bonda tersenyum suka. Bonda tidak lagi mengomel mahupun meluah rasa tidak puas hatinya. Tangannya laju sahaja mencapai sejadah-sejadah lain yang bersepah di lantai. Akhirnya, semua sejadah dilipat dan diletakkan semula ke tempat asalnya tanpa meminta pertolongan saya.

Sebaik melihat perbuatan bonda itu, saya aplikasi pula Teknik Pujian Gaya Nabi dengan menutur pujian memuji hasil kerja bonda, "Wah, kemas dan tersusun sejadah-sejadah yang bonda lipat ini. Kalau macam ini, banyaklah pahala bonda dapat. Allah suka orang yang memudahkan dan menyenangkan orang lain." (Betul)

Bonda bertambah suka mendengar pujian saya. Senyuman bonda bertambah lebar dan wajahnya kelihatan ceria. Tanpa disuruh atau diajak, selepas itu saya melihat dengan sendirinya bonda melipat dan mengemaskan kain-kain telekung yang tergantung pula.

Subhanallah! Terbukti teknik Nabi bukan hanya untuk pelajar dan anak-anak, tetapi juga bersesuaian untuk semua peringkat usia.
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Kesimpulannya:

Ya, saya memperolehi jawapan kepada kekusutan hati yang saya alami... saya rasa sangat lega apabila menggunakan teknik ini.

Kini saya sentiasa gunakan ayat ini untuk menerangkan kepada diri sendiri kenapa sesuatu itu terjadi dengan ayat berikut:-
a. Jika saya merungut asyik saya sahaja yang kena buat sesuatu perkara.....
'Allah beri kita peluang untuk dapat pahala dengan...............(masukkan ayat anda disini)

b. Jika saya ketemu orang /perkara yang tidak saya sukai......
'Allah beri kita peluang untuk melalui pengalaman......(nyatakan cerita anda di sini) ...agar saya jadi orang yang bijak mengendalikan keadaan/orang macam ini di masa hadapan  (ini terpulang kepada diri anda sendiri...gunakan ayat positif) 

atau  "Allah beri saya iktibar agar...................atau apa sahaja, dengan permulaan ayat "Allah beri kita peluang..."

selamat mencuba.......

Friday, 17 January 2014

Antara Kimchi Family Vs Ariana Rose

salah satu 'penyakit' baru yg melanda saya ialah menonton drama, tak kira mana-mana saluran pun...akhirnya saya 'hook' dgn citer kimchi family, TV2 sebelum hantar anak-anak sekolah...maklumlah, hurray-hurray 2-3 thn ni...erk.....

petang, sambil main masak-masak, terpandang citer TV3 (kot), tayangan wajib tonton bibik, Ariana Rose...lepas habis citer( adoi, poning den tengok) 'Playboy itu suami ku....' dan lain-lain citer yang sewaktu dengannya.....jalan citer sama jer, saya rasa penyakit ni lepas 'kejayaan' citer 'Sebenarnya saya isteri dia' kot.......

 aduh ariana rose, hang ni menambahkan koleksi citer merendahkan martabat pompuan ......baik akak tengok kimchi family, dapat tengok pemandangan korea yg cantik,sejuk...jalan cerita tentang keluarga, perjuangan, kasih sayang, kental jiwa , keras semangat tapi halus hemahnya.........rasa nak pegi jer makan kat restoran tu....kimchi godul........cubalah sutradara, suterateruna, suterajanda, suteraduda dll  kat mesia ni buat citer berfaedah....orang korea lebih 'islami' banding orang mesia yg rata-rata pelakonnya muslim kan.....

itulah story akak petang ni.....gerem aku tengok budak ariana rose sama adam ni....tapi pikir balik, abih, dah sekerip dia camtu ....apa ke der......









 
jangan pening layan kak jemah dik non, jom layan Nenek juara gelek hindustani ni....

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Google: the Reunion...the best pakcik in the online world...

the addiction of blog..wargh.......start dah....

 okay, i give up...once i update my blog, the addiction keeps coming.....okay....now hear ye...my research topic is...jeng,jeng,jeng......entrepreneurial competencies + library marketing + libraries...I've found this strategic marketing guru  cum charted librarian Terry Kendrick http://www.terrykendrick.com/category/libraries/

and I love this marketing advert by Google.. 'pakcik google' as we all fondly coined it..

Librarian! beware !  if u are not marketable enough, u will certainly be replaced by this pokcik......Hail the entrepreneurial competencies + marketing...ni baru gezek jer.......(translate la korang bahasa marketing rojak akak ni...heheheheheheh....)

lurv this advert, sweet and informative and touching touching gitu......starts off with the wonderful Azan......google, do one for librarian...pleeease.....afterall. u based your search concept from the libraries right...'the google way'..tribute to PSZ librarian

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Halloooo 2014.....

Assalamualaikum and hello 2014....
yes..I've been very quiet...i am trying to adjust to my new life...The postgraduate life...at last, the 'company' awarded me with study leave BUT  graduate on time I must be (GOT)..yelah tu....aduhai....
everyone keep asking me.."wei, u wanna be lecturer ha? (pensyarah).....".....aaaa..uh.uh.erm.... now I know how to answer...'erk..I want to be Chief Librarian"..(spice up with heheheheh the evil laugh)....

the truth.......i speak no americano......hehehe.......May 2014 spice up our life for better....will be posting seriously later.......... enjoy......

papa americano.....no englis, no cry................




Blog & anakanda yang tua....

Sabtu 18 Mei 2013.....

dalam usaha membantu anakanda 'istimewa', saya perkenalkan beliau dengan blog, anjuran KKA UTM Skudai...haish, asyik cari gambar sahaja...


 Anakanda bersama En Shahrul, Trainer



Harapan saya, beliau akan lebih berminat untuk belajar menulis dalam bahasa melayu dan english yang lebih baik

kalau berminat dengan aktiviti anjuran KKA UTM, boleh contact En Azmi Mohd Rais (kelas tusyen)

azmimr@utm.my  

trainer :
En Shahrul Nizam : pakcikshahrul@gmail.com  | mshahrul@utm.my



Friday, 14 June 2013

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Di sini segalanya bermula....this is where it begins....

Salam / Hello Bloggers....

I've been asking myself ever since, what could I contribute while I am still breathing...what I could achieve....
so, here it is, my own blog......hope my 'plain'story could tickle you a little....;-)

I am indeed a SURVIVOR....ENJOY..



Under construction




Thursday, 25 April 2013

Mak, azam dan mentor : Allah mengiyakan mengikut sangkaan hambaNya -Bhgn1

Salam bloggers..
terima kasih kerana singgah di ruang saya.

Sebelum mak diundang pulang kepangkuanNya, awal tahun ini saya sangat berazam untuk memperbaiki diri..

Doa saya adalah agar saya bertemu dengan guru / mentor yang boleh memberi tunjuk ajar kepada saya...saya sangat ingin khyusuk dlm solat, kerana saya tahu, untuk harapan kita makbul, hendaklah kita memperbaiki hubungan kita dengan KHALIQ yang MAHA KAYA

saya juga berazam untuk memperbaiki hubungan saya dengan Tuhan, mak dan keluarga....tapi Allah hanya mengizinkan lebih kurang 3 bulan sahaja utk saya laksanakan azam dgn mak.....saya 'kesasaran',peluang saya berbakti dgn mak terlalu singkat, ditambah dgn kebingungan melaksanakan arahan tugas semasa...

tapi Allah memang MAHAKAYA, MAHA PENGASIH, MAHA BIJAKSANA....

untuk saya berubah secara 'totok' (totally),  untuk saya mengetahui takdir diri , saya harus DIPERKAYAKAN dengan pengalaman baru, iaitu saya perlu menghadapi kepulangan mak secara mendadak...

doa saya yg diiyakan Allah ....ingin belajar khusyuk solat...

dgn kekayaan Allah SWT,  Pengerusi  persatuan wanita di organisasi saya, yg juga merupakan isteri kepada Big Boss kami,  adalah trainer dan practitioner kepada anti-aging programme dan bermewah hati mengajar kami teknik meditasi untuk solat secara PERCUMA...

sangat mudah dan cepat..Caranya:

1. letak tangan atas perut, tarik nafas dan lepaskan secara bertenang, 3x, rasakan naik turun perut kita
2. letak di dada, sama seperti di atas
3. letak dileher, sama seperti di atas
4. tarik nafas, hembus rasa (feel)/bayangkan (visualize) keluar masuk udara pada bahagian kepala
5. istighfar , lebih baik kalau ingat maknanya, lagi cepat meresap ke dada dan perasaan
6. zikir tasbih fatimiyah iaitu Subhanallah, Alhamdulilah, Allahuakbar, setiap satu 33x

kalau dah dapat rasa tenang dan dah biasa,  untuk mulakan solat, cuma buat 1-2-3-4-5...



nota : http://jejaksirah-insaflah.blogspot.com/2009/03/istighfar.html  (terima kasih jejaksirah)

Istighfar ringkas:
astaghfirullah, yang bermakna "Aku memohon keampunan Allah".

Dalam bahasa Inggeris, ianya membawa maksud:
astaghfirullah, meaning "I seek forgiveness from Allah".

Istighfar yang lebih lengkap adalah - ASTAGHFIRULLAH HAL'AZIM, ALLAZI LA ILA HAILLAH HUAL HAYYUL QAYYUM, WA'ATU BU ILAIH.

Monday, 22 April 2013

Mak dan kasih sayangNya...AlFatihah

Mak dan kasih sayangNya.........

sudah lama saya tidak update blog saya kerana sibuk ntah apa-apa dan tiada masa.....
18 Mac 2013, bersamaan dengan hari lahir suami saya, bonda saya dijemput kembali kehadratNya.............saya sangat terkesima dengan hal ini..pelbagai rasa datang terutamanya perasaan guilty dan terkilan kerana tidak menyedari tanda-tanda nya......
segala yang saya sibukkan sebelum ini terpadam drp fikiran saya...saya tak menyangka yg saya sendiri akan mengalami keadaan ini...aneh kan hidup ini, rasa macam sedang menonton drama...drama kehidupan sendiri..

Tapi, selepas mak pergi, rezeki saya dalam pencarian ilmu datang tidak putus-putus....Allahuakbar...

saya cuma ingin kongsikan kepada semua yang saya sangat sayang mak, kalau selama ini saya tidak pernah menyebutnya, hari ini , pada blog saya ini saya ingin kongsi kan itu....

Mak adalah mak terbaik bagi saya, dunia dan akhirat, mak sudah membesarkan saya, bersabar dengan karenah saya adik beradik dan famili...kasih dan doa mak lah yang telah membawa saya hingga ke peringkat saya kini......

Hikmahnya, saya berazam...
1. tidak menangguh kerja atau menangguh apa sahaja impian yang saya inginkan
2. sentiasa ingat bahawa mati bila-bila masa sahaja dan saya mesti bersedia..........
3. doa adalah senjata mukmin, seorang pakcik penjual sate menasihat saya saat itu, kata beliau " dik, kita mesti berdoa untuk terus hidup, dan sentiasa bersedia untuk mati".....

buat surfer yg terjumpa blog ini, mohon hadiah al-Fatihah buat bonda saya, Hjh Siti Asmah Jani,
13 Julai1950-18 Mac 2013......tarikh lahir mak = dgn tahun beliau dijemput pulang olehNya... 

Terima kasih kerana sudi singgah di sini...insya allah saya update lagi blog ini ...very very soon...

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Salute to the hardwork....here's to Perth Aussie - My NLP-LOA

with tremendous effort, Thank You My Lord....alhamdulilah...

hi all, happy new 2012....I don't know what to say, but for those who read my blog previously, this blog is dedicated to my "route to success after NLP-LOA"

for a very boring person like me, the  journey since July 2011 - today, 1st February 2012 (about 6 months after my training of NLP-LOA), I've achieved a lot......the very.....I've found many interesting thing without leaving my routine, the children and my deskwork.

What have I learn?
Mencipta kejayaan diri - kenalpasti, mengesahkan dan menambahnilai kepada diri sendiri (creating self-success by identifying, confirming and adding value to my self)

I am a person who always on the lookout to improve myself. To console myself through any hardship, I keep chanting to the feeling of " giving the benefit of doubt to others who hurt my feeling" (sangka baik), and to the Lord especially,  and thankfully, The Lord, Allah Almighty grant it...yes it is not easy, but it can be done.

My steps are:
1) identify my SWOT (strength, weakness, opportunity, threat)
2) confirming what i know through motivational seminars, such as through NLP-LOA seminars and gurus websites, example,  through the birthdate secrets (gregorian calendar,muslims calendar and cultural calendar)
3) adding value to new found information about myself through the seminars evaluation, examples, that i've the niche to become entrepreneur, etc.
asyrafyaman.tumblr.com

my-allah.tumblr.com
THANK YOU MY LORD, ALLAH SWT FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY.....

Thursday, 12 January 2012

susahnya nak senang, tapi senangnya nak susah.......

Untuk berjaya dan mencapai kecemerlangan, banyak isu yang mesti kita selesaikan........ berikut  adalah contoh cerita untuk tajuk diatas "susahnya nak senang, tapi senangnya nak susah"

(1) nak dapat syurga, kena jadi orang baik, nak jadi orang baik memang susah, sebab nak dapatkan syurga memang lah susah,tapi kena cuba jugakan, takkan nak duduk selamanya dalam neraka .......tapi nak dapat neraka senang, buat lah sesuka hati, pasti dpt neraka...hermmmmm....

(2) nak jadi orang berjaya lagi susah, macam2 isu perlu ditangani....tapi kalau dah berjaya, mudah, sebab telah terbukti yang kita berjaya melalui kaedah yang telah kita lalui........senangnya, buat selamba aje, tak payah buat apa2, doklah situ diam2.......tapi nanti tengok orang lain berjaya, susah hati pula, irihati dsb.....tak irihati tu tak normal namanyakan.....jadi tak apa lah iri hati, moga kita usahakan yang lebih baik untuk diri sendiri....

(3) nak pandaikan anak2 pun susah, sangatlah susah kalau takdir hidup ada anak 'kelainan upaya', satu pun susah, apatah lagi 2 atau 3 dan seterusnya.........tapi kalau anak2 berjaya, kita juga yang senangkan, senang hati, dsb.....yang senangnya buat tak kisah je, sukahati kau lah nak jadi apa, tapi akhirnya, kita yg susah......

(4) jadi orang perempuan zaman mileneum pun susah, katanya 'equal right', takpun orang perempuan memang terpaksa kerja 500% lebih kuat berbanding orang lelaki kalau nak berjaya......kat ofisnya, kat rumahnya, nak jaga suami punya SKT, famili punya SKT...........yang senangnya, terima je lah apa yang ada.......boleh ke aku macam tu? jawapan aku = TAK BOLEH kerana aku mesti jadi diri aku sendiri...tapi penat lah.......................


jawapan aku untuk semua cerita di atas adalah, 'you are what you think you are" aku lah apa yang aku fikirkan.....FIKIRKAN BOLEH........

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

next step..follow the yellow brick road.........(Wizard of OZ)

The exercise of GOP, teach me several information that is hidden :
our VC is indeed a very VISIONARY person. By following the GOP team , he wants us to:
   - understand the meaning of Entrepreneurial University
   - doing 'business' in non-profit org, learn the value of money, and appreciate and be grateful with what you    have now... 
   - think innovatively & set your creativity free.......
   - a practice to find FUTURE LEADER.......FUTURE INSPIRING figures.....
   -  a practice to get-to-know at which level is  the team working spirit of you and your team mate 
    - REALLY know the true colors or your team of your-so-called friends/ co-workers/ peers.....

I SALUTE U SIR!

I also would like to salute my supporting staff spirit, Mr K and my senior, Miss Kay, you are my inspiration...I can see your doing your best to achieve this.......

pic: ratemyfunnypictures.com


Q: What will your determination be? 
Q: Are your determine enough to achieve what you really want?


Wednesday, 7 December 2011

from zero to wooho.......about blogging

yikes.........before this, i care less about blog whatosonot, after  practising LOA, NLP, I've created more than 1 blogs already.......what does this journey takes me?!?!?!?!

see what's coming next, but the best part is, I've braved myself to share the knowledge with others......


Saturday, 3 December 2011

from Invisible to INVINCIBLE.....



As I browse through the reading shelves, IMPACT! attracted my attention. Never bump into her books before, but as an ardent practitioner of LOA, I believe this book is one of the 'attraction' that beckons me :-)
below is the review I've found from the net, at this moment I only manage to read those she highlighted in the box..pity me.....

http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/nancy-d-solomon/impact/_/R-400000000000000203266
Impact! is a 'total person' development guide that says 'who you are impacts everything you do'. It doesn't focus on what's wrong with you but rather what's right with you so that you can turn your potential into performance. The secret to success and fulfillment-both professionally and personally-is that you should stop trying to 'fit in' and become what others want you to be; that you can become more productive, powerful, and passionate by becoming more of who you were meant to be instead. Why? Because no longer is there any separation between who you are and what you do!
With step-by-step strategies and smart insight, you will learn how to have significant positive impact in your life and in your career; you'll learn how to unlock your personal power; live your life with purpose; appreciate your family; identify your greatest gifts and talents; value your failures and learn from them; stand up for yourself; give yourself permission to stand out; and start to ask for what you want. Best of all, you will learn how to be seen, heard and celebrated for being authentic - for being exactly who you are.

Serious advice for women who want to live passionate, successful, and happier lives at home and professionally
Shows you how to re-engage with yourself, figure out what you want and why you want it, and take charge of your career and life
Author Nancy Solomon is an expert in the field of personal development and human potential
The key to Impact! lies in knowing yourself intimately, leading your life from the inside out, and using your strengths to become happier and more fulfilled. Impact! shows you who you are, where you're going and how to get there. It also helps you to get out of your own way!


Nancy D Solomon link :www.nancydsolomon.com/


Q: What impact do you really want to have in your life?


Q: Could you describe the impact you've made so far?

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Definition 'Map of the World'

My google keyword :  nlp AND what is map of your world?

 I've found an interesting info about what is map of the world according to NLP from this link:-


 

NLP 101: The Map Is Not The Territory

Wed, May 31, 2006
What are The NLP Presuppositions?
The most basic and essential parts of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) are the presuppositions.
Think of the NLP presuppositions as the guiding principles or beliefs holding the NLP model up, like how a programming language maintains an entire computer operating system. Without the programming language, you can’t build the operating system and it collapses. But if you use the coding principles, your ability to create is limitless.
NLP doesn’t hold that these beliefs are ‘ultimately’ true, but we pre-suppose that they are. In NLP, whether a belief is ultimately true or not is not as important as whether or not it’s useful.
In the next NLP 101 series of posts, I’ll be introducing the core NLP presuppositions one by one, and we’ll see how they can relate to your life and help make it a more colorful and expansive one.
For the very first one…
The Map Is Not The Territory
Every second of our lives, millions of bits of information are streaming through our five senses into our minds, but only 7 plus or minus 2 bits gets consciously registered. NLP says that we cannot truly know the world as it is, not only because our conscious awareness is limited, but even that tiny bit that gets in we experience through the conscious and unconscious filters that we have, like our beliefs, values and states.
And because everyone experiences the world differently, we say that the map is not the territory: I have a different experience of reality than you do, and it’s not about being any more right or wrong than yours is. In NLP, we only ask if the current map you have is the most useful one for you right now.
How Can I Use This?
If you pre-suppose that the map is not the territory, then you’ll automatically assume that your beliefs do not always reflect reality accurately. You might have lived your whole life believing something is so, but just because you believed in Santa Claus didn’t make it so.
Could a belief like ‘the world is full of assholes’ limit you? Someone might have had one lousy experience in the past, and formed that belief. As the years went by, they might have forgotten how that belief got formed, and taken that habitual belief to be fact: to them that’s how the world ‘really’ is.
But if the map isn’t the territory, that person could realize that belief isn’t etched in stone, but merely written on her map of the territory. She might realize that other people who don’t believe the world is full of assholes aren’t deluded, they just have a different map of the world.
And if she changes that writing on her map to something more useful, like perhaps: ‘the world is a nicer place because I’m here’, she’ll work with the territory a lot differently and get different results because the map is guiding her differently now.
The Map Is The Territory
Contrast that with the opposite belief: that the map is the territory. Think of it: an entire world full of people who walked around believing that their view of reality is the only right one, and everyone else who doesn’t share their map of the world is just plain wrong.
Doesn’t it sound like a potential receipe for arguements, fights and wars?
If The Map Is Not The Territory, What Would Be Different For You?
If you don’t already hold this belief, pause your disbelief for a moment, and just allow yourself to imagine it’s true that the map is not the territory (even that is not the territory, I know, but let’s test). How would your life be different if you held that belief to be true, emotionally, mentally, socially, physically and spiritually?
NLP 101 Series:
NLP 101: What is NLP? Part 1
NLP 101: What is NLP Special for The Super NLP Hardcore
NLP 101: What is NLP? Part 2
NLP 101: So Dark The Con Of NLP
NLP 101: How NLP Changed My Life
NLP 101: The Map Is Not The Territory
NLP 101: There Is No Failure Only Learning Experience
NLP 101: Every Behaviour Has A Positive Intention
NLP 101: The Meaning of Your Communication is The Response You Get
NLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate
NLP 101 Thoughts: You Cannot Not Change The World
NLP 101: People Are Always Making The Best Choices They Have
NLP 101: People Are Not Broken
NLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate: The Pygmalion Effect
NLP 101: Everyone Already Has All The Resources They Need
NLP 101: There Are No Resistant Listeners, Only Inflexible Speakers
NLP 101: Life Is A Series of Systems
Recommended Reading for NLP Starters
Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement
Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement
Great Reads for the NLP Hardcore
Phoenix: Therapeutic Patterns of Milton H. Erickson
Modeling With Nlp
Modeling With Nlp
Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change
Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

This post was written by:

- who has written 458 posts on Life Coaches Blog.
Alvin has been a personal development coach and is the founder of Life Coaches Blog. He now writes full-time and keeps a personal blog at 21 Dragons.


other related links:


http://excellentlifecoach.com/?page_id=37  


your other half 'map of the world'

Thank You Allah for the spouse that I have now....

I  am flabbergasted (= very great suprise).........................u see, my spouse is a typical malay man, who seldom or difficult to express his love towards his loved ones, esp his partner. But his action  made me realized that, action do speak louder than words.  Maybe I should ask him to draw me what is actually his 'map of the world' . What is map of the world? I 'll post it in another board...

 from this link on how to save your marriage:-

http://www.1lovespirit.com/relationship-nlp-presupposition.html

Understanding NLP Presuppositions give you an added advantage in dealing with relationship challenges.
    The map is not the territory.
Our mental maps of the world are not the world. We respond to our maps, rather than directly to the world. Mental maps, especially feelings and interpretations, can be updated more easily than the world can be changed.

Application to Relationships
How well are you able to appreciate your partner's map of the world. Do you often think of your map as the absolute reality?


    Experience has a structure.
Our thoughts and memories have a pattern to them. When we change that pattern or structure, our experience will automatically change. We can neutralize unpleasant memories and enrich memories that will serve us.

Application to Relationships
NLP Technique called Strategy Elicitation can uncover your thought patterns. When you know the patterns, you can then make changes to them. The changes, then, produce the desired behavior.


If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.We can learn an achiever's mental map and make it our own. Too many people think certain things are impossible without ever going out and trying them. Pretend that everything is possible. When there is a physical or environmental limit, the world of experience will let you know about it.

Application to Relationships
Do you often wish you could react in a calm manner when your partner disagrees with you? Perhaps you know of a very patient friend. Using NLP, you can model your friend's patient composure.


The mind and body are parts of the same system.Our thoughts instantly affect our muscle tension, breathing, feelings, and more, and these in turn affect our thoughts. When we learn to change either one, we have learned to change the other.

Application to Relationships
You can know what your spouse is feeling by modeling his posture and facial expression as closely as possible. Remember, words only constitute 7% of communication, tonality 38% and body language 55%.

Observe your own posture when you respond to conflict situations. By changing your posture, you can change the state of your mind, so that you can respond in a more desirable way.


People already have all the resources they need.Mental images, inner voices, sensations, and feelings are the basic building blocks of all our mental and physical resources. We can use them to build up any thought, feeling, or skill we want. and then place them in our lives where we want or need them most.

Application to Relationships
This is one way of saying that we all have the inner wisdom, lying in our unconscious mind, to find solutions to our problems.

You cannot NOT communicate.We are always communicating, at least nonverbally, and words are often the least important part. A sigh, a smile, and a look are all communications. Even our thoughts are communications with ourselves, and they are revealed to others through our eyes. voice tones, postures, and body movements.

Application to Relationships
Understanding your spouse's non-verbal communication can help you relate and respond to your spouse better.

The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
Others receive what we say and do through their mental map of the world. When someone hears something different from what we meant, it's a chance for us to notice that communication means what is received. Noticing how our communication is received allows us to adjust it, so that next time it can be clearer.

Application to Relationships
Do you often use the same strategy of getting your message through, even if your spouse's response is not what you desire? Do you blame your spouse if the message does not get through? Do you think that blaming your spouse can invite a better response? How then can you use your creativity to change your communication strategy, such that you invoke a more desirable response in your spouse?

Underlying every behavior is a positive intention.Every hurtful, harmful, and even thoughtless behavior had a positive purpose in its original situation. Yelling in order to be acknowledged. Hitting to fend off danger. Hiding to feel safe. Rather than condoning or condemning these actions, we can separate them from the person's positive intent, so that new, updated, and more positive choices can be added that meet the same intent.

Application to Relationships
Understand that there is a positive intention behind your spouse's actions. Granted, the behavior serving the positive intention may be undesirable. Find out the positive intention of your spouse's behavior, acknowledge it and work out another solution that serves the positive intentions.


    People are always making the best choice(s) available to them.
    Every one of us has his or her own unique personal history. Within it, we learned what to do and how to do it, what to want and how to want it, what to value and how to value it, what to learn and how to learn it. This is our experience. From it, we must make all of our choices; that is, until new and better ones are added.

Application to Relationship
Understand that your spouse is behaving in a certain way, due to his own personal history and the unconscious resources available to him. The same applies to you.


If what you are doing isn't working, do something else. Do anything else.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten. If you want something new, do something new, especially when there are so many alternatives.

Application to Relationships
How many times have your tried the same strategy again and again to work on your relationship, even if it fails to produce results? If a strategy worked 10 years ago or if it worked for someone else, that does not mean it will work now or that it will work for you . So if one strategy does not produce the results that you want in your relationship,  try another. Keep trying until you get your desired results. Be flexible. However, ensure that your strategy fits with your values and beliefs.

 p/s : I personally love this pic,all heads becometh one :-) and the young boy looks like my no 5, except for the blue eyes :-)

arenacreative.com

Q:What do you really want from your spouse?
Q: What do you really want from your existing relationship?